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How Trauma Produces Emotional Blocks

Posted March 3, 2013 By Les Meehan

How trauma produces ‘Success Inhibitors’

We all have experiences in life that are not particularly pleasant, or that are down right traumatic. Nearly all negative experiences contain some element of trauma which causes a strong emotional reaction; whether the trauma is of the big ‘T’ or little ‘t’ variety doesn’t matter. This emotional reaction to the trauma, in turn, usually causes physiological reactions which we feel in our body in a variety of ways.

As part of our mental processing of the trauma, these emotions become lodged in your emotional memory of the traumatic experience. Later, when the memory of such an experience is recalled, the associated emotions are also brought back often creating the same physiological reaction of the original trauma. This can happen even many years after the original experience. It is this recall of the emotions, and the resulting physiological reactions that are what cause us the continuing ‘hurt’ of the original experience.

For many people, the surprising thing about this process is that the original experience doesn’t actually need to have been traumatic in the usual sense of a big, bad experience: such as a major car crash or some form of physical abuse. Even the most innocuous incident, experienced under specific circumstances, can leave an emotional scar that can last a lifetime and affect one’s ability to truly reach one’s goals and fulfill one’s aspirations.

Research has shown that the circumstances most likely to result in long-term emotional scarring are:

  • When the hurt is delivered by a caregiver or someone we are emotionally connected to e.g. Parent, teacher, friend
  • When the recipient is humiliated by the experience
  • When the recipient feels helpless to react or defend themselves
  • When the experience is so bad the recipient ‘freezes’ in the moment

It is often as likely that a throw away remark or a cursory glance, if delivered in the right circumstances and by the right person, will leave a long-lasting emotional scar just as potent but probably less obvious, as a serious accident or abusive childhood. For example, a teacher or parent telling a 10 year old child that “You will never be good at singing” (even just one time), can leave that child growing up with the sincere, and powerful, belief that he or she will never be able to sing. This is even more likely to produce an emotional scar if the remark is made in a situation where others see and hear the criticism, which leads to the child feeling humiliated in front of his or her friends.

How this affects your success

All of these negative experiences and their emotional attachments may adversely impact on our ability to reach our true potential because they can form what I call success inhibitors. Success inhibitors are those unseen but very real inner doubts and insecurities that hold us back when given opportunities to grow and shine. For example, the child who was repeatedly told he or she would never be good at anything may turn down the opportunities to join activities due to the fear of failure or humiliation if they don’t perform well. Later as an adult they may continue to refuse to voluntarily accept projects and responsibilities because the emotional memory from the past (“You will never amount to anything” or “You are useless at everything”) may be triggered resulting in the need to avoid a possible repeat of the original humiliation suffered as a child.

This type of limiting behaviour caused by the unconscious need to avoid repeating a hurt from the past may literally stop, or at the least severely reduce, a persons’ ability to achieve what they want. These success inhibitors, and there may be more than one, can have a severe affect on a persons’ career, and on key work relationships.

Tap the ‘True Potential’ of your team members

Fortunately, the emotionally charged memories that most people carry inside them and which adversely affect daily activities can be resolved with my EFT executive coaching. This emotional resolution frees the individual from the limiting effect of the past negative experience(s) and allows them to achieve more in every area of their life. This of course is good news not just for their families but for their employer and colleagues too as an emotionally balanced person is capable of higher levels of performance and achievement than an emotionally blocked person; and is usually also more positive to work with!

Contact me now to find out how I can help your executive team leaders be even better!

Important: I am always interested in your views so please go ahead and take a moment to leave a comment below.

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Self-Esteem in Team Success

Posted February 5, 2013 By Les Meehan

Team Esteem and Team Success

Most people are familiar with the term self-esteem and the generally accepted meaning that it refers to how a person feels about themselves, on a subjective optimism-pessimism scale, at any given moment. It is well established that self-esteem has a significant influence on personal performance, whether in sport, work or family life. What is often less obvious, especially to many over-stressed managers, is that a team of people working together as a unit develops team-esteem.

Team members share feelings – without a word spoken

Research has shown that feelings are invisibly passed from person to person by means of special emotional receptors and that this exchange of feelings can have a tremendous impact on both individuals and the whole team. The same research also shows that the person who’s feelings are strongest is most likely to transmit these feelings to the people nearby. So, when a single member of a team is strongly feeling optimistic and empowered to achieve, it is likely that these same feelings will be absorbed by the rest of the team resulting in a heightened positive state for the whole team. Conversely, it only takes one member of a team to be in a strongly pessimistic mood for this to change the mood of the entire team into one of pessimism.

The bottom line is that whatever the dominant feeling a single member of a team has at a given moment, this feeling can quickly spread to the rest of the team. If the feeling so transferred is positive and optimistic then team performance will likely increase as a result; alternatively performance may suffer when the opposite feelings are passed around.

High team-esteem boosts performance

We know that when an individual has high self-esteem it tends to result in greater self-confidence, greater enthusiasm, and better performance. The same is true for a team. When the team-esteem, which can be thought of as the total combined self-esteem of the team members, is high it produces a dynamic energy of positivity and optimism that is palpable to anyone coming into contact with that team. This greater positive energy helps to drive the team as a whole to greater performance and achievement.

A key function of team leaders, at all levels of management, should be to always try to maintain a high level of team-esteem and to look for ways to boost that team-esteem whenever possible. It is all too easy to damage both the individual and team self-esteem with careless words or deeds and this must be guarded against if high performance is to be maintained and increased.

Remember: feelings are transmitted and received so take care to avoid harming individual self-esteem lest it ‘rub off’ on the rest of the team. Performance and team-esteem are inter-dependent!

Emotional coaching develops high team-esteem

We know that high team-esteem can significantly enhance team performance and achievement; and the team-esteem is the result of the combined total of the self-esteem of each team member. It makes good business sense then to provide various means of improving and increasing the individual self-esteem of every team member in order to boost the overall team-esteem.

Since self-esteem is heavily influenced by how positive or negative a person feels, an excellent way to promote high self-esteem is to reduce the negative feelings that most people have and which affect not only how they feel about themselves i.e. their self-esteem, but also how they behave and make decisions.

An active programme of emotional coaching, such as the results-proven Right Mind Solutions ‘Tapping the Potential’ method, can provide the emotional resolution required to eliminate negative feelings and enhance individual self-esteem and consequently team-esteem.

Contact me, Les Meehan to discuss how we can increase your team-esteem with emotional coaching.

Important: I am always interested in your views so please go ahead and take a moment to leave a comment below.

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Do I Need an Executive Coach?

Posted January 4, 2013 By Les Meehan

Do I Need an Executive Coach?

If you have doubts whether executive coaching would be useful to you let me ask you a question.

“When was the last time you were able to talk and be really listened to, without limits or ‘holding back’, by someone who is independent, skilled, and knowledgeable in  nurturing your success potential and who’s only concern is helping to make your life/career better than it is right now?”

You may answer by saying you already have people to talk to i.e.:

  • Your manager at work – not independent
  • Your colleagues – not independent
  • Your spouse – not independent
  • Family and friends – not independent

Are you seeing a pattern emerging here? Just think about it a moment and ask yourself if there is anyone on that list you could really say whatever you wanted to without having to think about the consequences of your words? I suspect the true answer is a resounding “No!”

In most situations when we engage in a conversation we have one part of our mind worrying about the consequences of what we are saying to the other person and another part having a totally different (and perhaps more honest) conversation. How often, in the middle of a conversation, have you heard the little voice in your head saying what you really would like to say but then ‘editing’ the words to produce an ‘acceptable’ i.e. minimal fall-out, conversation?

The bottom line is; can you truly and freely express your innermost thoughts and feelings with the people you have in your life? If not, your desired outcomes may be more difficult, or impossible, to achieve.

Enter the Executive Coach!

Executive coaching is about results. These results come from your actions and your actions are driven by your behaviours. Now to really develop yourself and achieve the amazing results you are probably capable of, it is often necessary to be honest (sometimes brutally honest) about all relevant aspects of your life both personal and career. It is also often necessary to change many of those aspects into something more resourceful – which usually requires new behaviours from you.

The role of an executive coach is to create for you an emotionally secure environment in which you can be totally free to be honest and fully explore what needs to be explored – without concern for the consequences of your words! When the executive coach creates such an environment of trust and security you can experience a wonderful sense of freedom that allows you to connect with the parts of you that are holding you back. When this is achieved, the executive coaching will help and support you to resolve these ‘success inhibitors’ and initiate more positive and resourceful options.

Honesty and truth often hurt, but they are the most powerful way to discover and achieve what you really want (and don’t want!) in your life. Executive coaching could be the gateway to the future you have only previously dreamed about.

Contact me, Les Meehan to discuss how we can increase your success with our executive coaching.

Important: I am always interested in your views so please go ahead and take a moment to leave a comment below.

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